Monday, January 04, 2016

Dating with Data, Digging for Gold

Dating with Data, Digging for Gold

This article is part of a series on divorce which describes my experiences as part of going through a divorce. In short, I found that the dating world had changed somewhat by the time I returned to it as a result of my divorce. Now, the internet has changed dating, changed it even more than when I had originally met my spouse on America Online almost 20 years ago.

Now the internet bustles with all sorts of applications for smart phones related to dating. Many of them are related and part of larger conglomerates at this point. I wanted to take this post really to just give my own personal impressions of dating as a result of this experience. I personally used an app called OKCupid which I found to be very good and helpful.

Here are the things I liked:
1. It provided pictures and some opportunity to give a description.
2. It did not require for other people to know I was looking at their profile.
3. It allowed me to be able to answer questions about myself so that potential matches would know if we were similar enough.

Here are the things I disliked:
1. There was not much in the way of proofing/checking people.
2. It was difficult to be certain if people were being honest using that medium.
3. Many of the personality questions were similar/repeated.

Here are some tips if you want it to turn into a long-term relationship:
1. Tell the truth. If in doubt, just omit it; do not lie.
2. Don't use a ridiculous picture or one that is not within the past 24 months. If you don't have a good picture, get a friend to help you take one.
3. Spend some time talking to the person; see if you like them BEFORE you go an meet them.
4. Wait to have physical contact; go slow. Let the desire burn a little for you both. In this world of instant gratification, it is a good exercise to show some restraint.

These were things that worked for me. Online dating is fun and exciting; and there is a lot of opportunity to have either a long-term relationship OR a casual fling. Just make sure you know what you want and are honest with your dating partner about it and you'll have a great time.

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